Disclaimer: If you do not have a STRONG application and you apply for an internship/scholarship/program and get rejected, please, brethren, take some time and do some soul search. There is a fine line between doing all you can to get the job and being rejected versus submitting a non-competitive application and being rejected. God can’t help you unless you do your human part and submit a COMPETITIVE application.
Let’s talk about rejection. I know, I know – rejection is not a sexy subject but this post will give me the chance to explain why I love the idea of rejection and being rejected. I will be speaking about my personal experiences of being rejected from certain programs, internships, scholarships, however, this might also apply to personal relationships as well, so, let’s dive in!
I think I have some of the smartest friends in the world. My TLs are always flooded with my friends receiving prestigious awards, dining with the Clintons, interning at top companies across the world, etc. While my friends are all extremely successful, I rarely see anyone speaking about rejection not because they don’t want people to know that they once got rejected but because rejection is generally an uncomfortable topic and I think no one really knows where to start.
Personally, I have been rejected so many times that I have lost count. A few years ago I used to get really bummed out after each rejection but over time I have learned that everything happens for a reason. Yes, I know, very cliche but it is so true – hence the reason it has become a cliche statement! When I was in high school at the Philadelphia High School for Girls, I applied to around 28 colleges (excessive, right?) and my top choice was the University of Pennsylvania, specifically the Wharton Business School. I am now at Drexel University so you can conclude that I did not get into Wharton and at the time I was so upset I literally could not do anything. I cried for what seemed like an eternity and I did not speak to my family for several days because I was really angry at the world.
Around the same time I got rejected from UPenn, I was applying for numerous scholarships with the biggest one being the Gates Millennium Scholarship. Essentially, the Gates is THE most prestigious scholarship a high school student could get and I knew I wanted, scratch that, I NEEDED to get that scholarship because it paid for undergraduate, graduate, and even doctorate degrees (for some programs). Being a low-income student and an immigrant to the US from Ghana, I thought the Gates was the only way I could finance my education without relying on my parents. I went the whole nine yards and finally got to the final round. At that time, the program selected 2000 finalists and they could only pick 1000 students as Gates Scholars. I was SO sure I was going to get the scholarship because in my mind I did everything right: I worked extremely hard on my application materials, I made the right connections with the GMS staff, and most importantly I prayed to God constantly to give me this scholarship.
During the weekend they sent out the results, I was in Atlanta for a Coke Scholar Conference and I told my family to keep an eye out for a letter in the mail. While at a session, I received a text from my sister stating I had a letter from GMS and I immediately asked her if it were a small or big envelope. From applying to several colleges and scholarships, I had distinguished between the envelope sizes: Small envelope meant, “The competition was extremely difficult this year, we wish you all the best with your future endeavors”, whereas a big envelope usually meant, “You made the cut, now we need more documents from you in order to give you the money.” Long story short, she told me it was a small envelope and I was just in shock. I had dedicated my 4 years of high school to getting the Gates Scholarship: I had worked tirelessly on my essay responses, I had a 4.08+ GPA, I had killer recommendations, I prayed to God, and I still got rejected? I could not believe it.
Till this day I still do not know what happened but I can wholeheartedly say that I am so grateful that I was rejected. I decided to apply to Drexel and got a full scholarship along with other scholarships from several companies such as the Coca-Cola Scholarship, Michael & Susan Dell Scholarship, Horatio Alger Scholarship, UNCF Catherine Pierce, and the list goes on. Since I started Drexel, I have never had to take out a loan and on top of that I get a hefty refund every single semester. Basically these organizations pay me to attend school – it’s really lit! Also, if I received the Gates Scholarship, I probably would not have applied to the scholarships mentioned above and I would not have met some of my closest friends through organizations such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Network.
Once I entered college and started the internship process, I faced rejection again. I have gotten rejected from so many companies I am amazed at how I landed internships at SAP and Google. I never in my life thought I could work at a place like Google – you usually fantasize about stuff like that – but everything just started to fall in place when I allowed God to take absolute control of my life.
Now that I have had some time to reflect, I have realized that I have been saying the wrong prayer all along -I always used to tell God that I want this scholarship and this internship but that is totally wrong. Just because you want something does not mean that God will give it to you – especially when it is not His plan for you. Nowadays, whenever I apply for a scholarship or internship, I tell Him, “If it is your will for me to get this scholarship or work at this company, then let it be so.” I do my part in crafting a really good application and going through several stages of interviews and then I just go about the rest of my day.
Ever since I started doing that, I have been more at peace with myself whenever I get a rejection letter. Now, I actually welcome rejection letters! It shows me that there is more to learn; that there are things that I do not know and still need to work on. It shows me that not all “big” companies are great and not all “small” companies are bad. It shows me that God does not want me to work at xyz company – He wants me at this other company and to receive this scholarship instead because it is more aligned with my goals, etc. Most importantly, He reiterates Jeremiah 29:11 to me,
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
And just to touch on a bit of my personal life (because apparently my personal life is a mystery), I use the same principles with my friends and for intimate relationships as well. As human beings, we love familiarity so much that we are afraid to remove ourselves from toxic friendships and relationships. For so long, I stuck with guys who would often say hurtful things to me about my body and at that point I didn’t know it was emotional and mental abuse. I always just thought they wanted the best for me but there is a fine line, and I mean FINE line, between someone advising you to go easy on the ice cream and to hit the gym versus someone constantly bringing up your weight and your looks.
After several attempts of trying to be in a relationship and failing miserably, I have learned that, again, everything happens for a reason. At some point, certain people will start to leave your life, sometimes for a valid reason, sometimes the reason will have you questioning the person’s IQ. To my Ghanaians, sometimes it will have you thinking like Lil Win (Kumawood Actor) when he said, “I don’t think far, I don’t think madness.”
At the end of the day, God’s got you. It might not look that way when you keep getting rejected but trust me when I say He is constantly working 24/7 on your behalf and preparing you for greater things far beyond your own imagination. Everything will work out in YOUR favor.
I promise.
Stay adventurous, dear friends, and always remember to stay golden. All ways, always.
Sincerely,
Samuella
Hi,
I apologize for remaining anonymous. I stumbled upon your linkedin page through some common connections and then continued stalking along so sorry for creeping. I’m very impressed by your food blog, and internship experience, but this is the blog post that really pushed me to leave a comment because rejections have really hit home for me. Thank you for inspiring me to keep a positive mindset when dealing with rejections.
Hello,
Thank you so much for reading this post! I am glad you found this blog post useful and I hope you remember to ALWAYS keep a positive mindset when dealing with rejections – especially if you know that you did your absolute best.
I respect your decision to remain anonymous, however, I would love to know who you are in the future! 🙂
Samuella, this post really inspired me. This year has been very brutal for me in terms of rejections, especially for POKS Spices. We applied for many opportunities that would have helped put our company on the map and got rejected many times. We heard all manner of reasons for the rejections. We gave what we thought was our very best, but it didn’t happen. This week, God told me that He does some of these things so we don’t rest on our strength, intellect or connections, but to trust/lean on Him. Thank you for sharing plainly your experiences, because they would help others. Rejection is part of the journey we walk through, even as Christians. Once we understand that it is God ordering and re-ordering our steps, it’s easier to accept.
Sis Abena,
Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your insights! I am certain that God has something far better planned for you and POKS Spices – probably far better than any of the opportunities you came across. I cannot agree more with your last statement. It can be extremely difficult when you face rejection after rejection but I am certain that everything will work out! Sending you hugs and positive vibes! <3
[…] firm believer in “what is meant for you will not pass you by.” After facing a myriad of rejection for scholarships and internships, I have come to really believe that if God really wants you to be at a particular place, He will […]
wow i just discovered this website & its already blessing to me! Keep slaying sis!! <3
Thank you so much for reading! I’m glad you found this post useful! <3
Great piece on rejection from start to the end. It is very difficult to accept some rejections but as you said we have been saying the wrong prayers to God. Is time to change my prayer line. Stay bless
I know it is very difficult to accept some rejections, however, it becomes a lot easier to handle once God is involved. Everything will work out in your favor. God bless you!
Thanks so much for writing this Sammie!
It’s true that many people do not talk about rejection because it is an uncomfortable topic but I’m glad you’re shinning a light on how disheartening it can be. And now that I think about it, all the times I have been rejected, it has all worked to my favor in the end so truly, God is stirring us in the direction of our purpose through these rejections.
Great post darling!
Aww thank you so much for reading, Sha Sha! It definitely takes a lot of time and patience to openly accept rejection but in the end we will come to realize that there is a reason behind the rejection. God does not make mistakes!
Honestly, I could relate to this on every single level! The part of “The competition was extremely difficult this year, we wish you all the best with your future endeavors” had me rolling cause I have seen that too many times. I’m yet to reach the phase where I openly accept rejection but that bible verse Jeremiah 29:11 will be my new mantra.
Let Go and Let God!
LOL I have read that rejection line so many times I figured other people could relate! Openly accepting rejection will definitely take some time but once you get there, you will be so free. Yes – let go and let God!
Love this one Sammie! I can totally relate to your college story as well. Four years ago, I was so demoralized when I realized I was going to end up at Drexel. Today, I bless God everyday for bringing me here! It’s funny because at that point, you can’t understand why things turned out the way they did especially when you feel you played all your cards right and that’s why trusting God through it all is so important.
I pray God continues to give us the strength to trust His amazing plans for us wholeheartedly! BTW I still have a bone to pick with you on one of the things you mentioned here. ???
Thanks so much for reading, Queen! It’s really funny how God works. Can you imagine we would have missed out on the sisterhood and everything Drexel has to offer (even the struggles) if we did not come here?! Amen my dear, indeed He knows what is best for His children.
Also, why do I feel like you are always picking a bone with me?! HAHAHA! *moon face*
I have gone through a similar ordeal. I used to question God and cry my eyes out till I slept. Thanks. you have inspired me. 🙂
Afua, I am glad you are inspired by the post. Always remember that in all things God knows best! He will take you to where you NEED to be. 🙂
Great post! ??
Thank you, Emma! Thanks for reading! 🙂